


Ice and Isolation

by Ashfen



Category: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Ah the tragic gays, Angst, Attempted Suicide, Blood, Blood and Injury, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Here we go gang, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Toxic Relationship, Trauma, Verbal Abuse, Victor feels like he has never done anything wrong ever, Victor has severe paranoia in regards to Adam, Victor is dying, but he - as your god -, enjoy this final crumb of softness between them, it's just for different reasons, my favorite and most hated trope in literature, slit wrists, technically a slowburn, they're both fucked mentally, uh oh sisters, wanted to tenderly care for the man who created you, was a spiteful twink, what if you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2020-12-27 23:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashfen/pseuds/Ashfen
Summary: A name. By God, he had been given a name. He was Adam. Adam, who carefully held a nearly dead man in his arms after pushing him to that almost terminal fatigue. Adam, who was - and always would be - nothing but grotesque. Adam, the monster.Adam, who would save the life of the one who bestowed it upon him.





	1. Chapter 1

The creature believed he truly had no one left, until he felt the small bundle of furs in his arms give a ragged breath.  
After all the anger, all the hatred he had built up from the very beginning of what he felt to be his conscious existence, knowing that his creator was still alive even now brought a feeling of _relief_.  
There was someone still there; someone who still knew who he was. Despite the circumstances of his existence, he was still endowed with that innately human fear of being forgotten.  
He was not a beast: a beast would not have such a fear.  
"Victor Frankenstein," His voice was soft, a tone so gentle being entirely new to him. "Victor Frankenstein, you will live. You _will_ live, and as shall I."  
The being he cradled stirred slightly - barely even a tremor - and glanced over him with glazed, barely lucid eyes. A lone word was spoken soundlessly before his eyes closed again, and it was as the creation was traveling across the ice in search of safety for them that he realized what had been said.  
_ Adam._  
A name. By God, he had been given a name. He was Adam. Adam, who carefully held a nearly dead man in his arms after pushing him to that almost terminal fatigue. Adam, who was - and always would be - nothing but grotesque. Adam, the monster.  
Adam, who would save the life of the one who bestowed it upon him.

×××××××××××××××××

The last thing Victor remembered was staring up at the creature in the ice, yet he awoke inside of what seemed like a makeshift snow house with still hazy vision.  
Where was Adam? Where was _he_? Was he going to die?  
There was an attempt made to call out to him - to anyone, really - but no sound passed his lips; only a tight pain in his throat gave him any indication that he had even tried to speak at all.  
Oh dear. He _was_ going to die, wasn't he? Abandoned in a hut.  
Actually, that didn't add up. Why go through that much trouble just to abandon him? It seemed useless. Logically, it seemed like Adam would be returning. What would happen then? Had he been waiting for Victor to regain consciousness so that he could take more pleasure in the kill? He grew tense: he wouldn't hold Adam above something like that.

It felt like torture, having nothing to do except wait for his probable demise; well, wait or reflect on his past, his choices. Both wrought nothing but misery and frustration from him. Both only further fueled his despisal of Adam.  
He shivered, and drew the furs closer around himself. It wasn't the first time he had felt the harsh chill of the arctic, but this _was_ the first time that he was helpless to do anything about it.

It was frightening.

×××××××××××××××××

Adam had expected the man to still be resting upon his return, so finding Victor sitting upright as he entered the igloo jolted him into a standstill.  
"... You."  
His voice was frail - God, why was it so _frail_? - despite the distinct malice in it, the man seeming to shrink back from him slightly. Was Victor angry? Afraid?  
He took a small step towards the other, and received an almost immediate rasp of _'Stay back!'_; so he paused for a moment before sighing.  
"I can stay near the edges, but I need to come inside. Does that work?"  
The man simply scowled at him.  
"I'll take that as a yes."

With that Adam resumed entry into the igloo, keeping his word of remaining at the exact opposite edge from Victor, so as to be as far away as possible. Despite this arrangement, Victor still seemed to have that peculiar mix of fear and anger in his unyielding eyes. Adam sighed.  
"... How long do you plan to watch me like that?"  
"How long do you plan to let me live?"  
"You think I plan to kill you."  
"I _know_ you plan to kill me."  
The word 'idiot' briefly passed through Adam's mind.  
"What if I don't plan to kill you?"  
"You do."  
"I didn't realize you knew my thoughts, Victor."  
"I didn't realize you had the nerve to try and lie about your intentions."  
He opened his mouth to debate this but quickly closed it again, deciding it was better to avoid indulging Victor in an argument; so he changed the subject.  
"Are you warm enough?"  
The man seemed to curl tighter into the furs.  
"... Why do you care?"  
A fair question. Why _did_ he care? Victor had caused him nothing but misery since his creation; the idea of him slowly freezing to death should be appealing, why was it an appalling idea to him?

"I'd wager freezing to death is a horrible way to go," He paused and looked up to calmly meet his creator's distrusting gaze. "…You deserve better than to perish like that."  
"I suppose you want me to say 'thank you'?"  
"No, no, I know better than to expect that. I just want to know if you're warm enough."  
Victor seemed to silently contemplate for a bit.  
"... I'm fine. It's warm."  
"Are you sure?"  
"What do I stand to gain from lying about it?"  
The man was silently glaring again, and Adam frowned when he caught him shiver violently. Was he going to have to fight just to get the other to understand that his life wasn't in danger with him? Why did Victor have to be so frustratingly stubborn?  
"Clearly you stand to gain _something_, or else you wouldn't have lied about it."  
"And just what do you plan to do?"  
"I plan to help you preserve body heat."  
"Don't you _dare_!"

The man had recoiled away from him again. Oh, why did he have to be like _that_? Adam rose to his full height, and there was a noticeable shift in Victor: he was visibly more tense, and the slight rasp of his breath had hastened.  
Realization dawned on him as Victor attempted to shrink into himself.  
"You're afraid."  
"You're imagining things-"  
"I'm not." Adam made strides towards him. "You're scared of me,"  
"Get back-"  
"frightened. Why? What did I do to deserve your fear?"  
"Stay away--"  
"You've been revolted by me as long as I've existed, and for what? All I ever did was exist, Victor!" He was towering over the other now, frustration fuelling the booming voice that trapped his creator against the wall of the igloo. "Just what about that is so deserving of your continued disgust?!"  
"STOP!"

The figure beneath him let out a desperate cry before doubling over, gasping for whatever bit of breath he could snatch up. Just as Adam stepped back, Victor collapsed.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam had shifted the man into what he assumed was a more comfortable position after he'd fainted, Victor's head resting on his leg with the hide wrapped even tighter around him than before. He seemed fine, perfectly still save for the occasional shiver.  
That is, he _had_ seemed fine until his tremors became violent shakes once more; the man must've been having a nightmare. Adam watched him for a bit before taking pity on him, hesitantly placing a hand on Victor's side and holding it there. It didn't seem to be doing much, so he tried rubbing his back rhythmically. What did one do to soothe another?  
Out of ideas, he raised his hand up instead to the man's head, weaving his fingers through his creator's stark grey locks. Adam had never known the man to have a full head of dark brown hair, but he knew it had been like that at some point, simply because only a portion was grey at his "birth". He searched for any remnants of the brown that might be left, further carding through Victor's long hair and to his amazement, the man seemed to relax at that.

He continued to cautiously run his hand through the other's hair, not noticing that Victor had woken up until the man defensively yanked back from him. Adam sighed.  
"Relax; I won't hurt you."  
"How can I know for sure?" A frustrated noise erupted from him at that point, and Victor again drew back in what Adam now knew to be fear. The creature sighed grudgingly.  
"We're not going through this _again_, Victor. Now are you warm?"  
"I am."  
"Are you telling the truth this time?"  
"Does it matter?"  
"I suppose you _want_ to freeze."  
"I'm sure it's better than whatever you have in store for me."  
"That's _enough_!" Adam rose to his feet in a sudden rush of movement. "How many times must I say it Victor? I don't _want_ to kill you! If I wanted your demise, do you think you'd still be breathing?" The man recoiled once more, and this only seemed to exacerbate Adam further. "I'm surprised that I _haven't_ brought it about yet however, considering how much of an insufferable _prick_ you are! You say the most provoking things, then when you've infuriated everyone, you act as if-" He stopped himself before he could continue further, taking a few deep breaths to settle himself before slowly returning to a seated position. "... I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry. However, it appears that if we're to proceed without _killing each other_, guidelines need to be put into place."  
"All I need from you is to stay away from me."  
"I can't guarantee that."  
"Can't guarantee that you won't strangle me or something like that, hm?"  
"That needs to stop. Now. You can be suspicious of me, but don't keep accusing me of plotting to kill you; it's infuriating."  
Victor sneered and took up a mocking tone before replying "I can't guarantee that". Adam rolled his eyes and sighed exasperatedly as he rose once more to at least temporarily respect the man's wishes.  
"This is why you're an insufferable prick, Victor."  
"It takes one to know one."

"Don't indulge him, Adam…" The man muttered to himself as he made the short trek across the igloo. Why was he so eager to bother? "What were you dreaming about, earlier?"  
Victor jumped in surprise at the question and looked down; after a few minutes of silence, Adam assumed he wasn't going to get an answer.  
"... Elizabeth. I was dreaming about Elizabeth."  
"And it was a nightmare?"  
"I was watching her murder. Watching _you_, murder her. She blamed me for it, and said I was next."  
He continued to watch his creator; studying the sunken-in eyes that held an exhaustion beyond his age, the hunched over figure and the hands clutching the furs around him. Victor seemed to have been sapped of life far earlier than he ought to have been.  
"You _are_ to blame though."  
"Yes, it's _my_ fault you murdered my wife."  
"_You_ slaughtered _my_ bride; it was a reasonable exchange."  
"Go to hell Adam!"  
The being rose again in a rage, having grown weary of Victor's condemnations and spite.  
"You know what? Fine! If you crave my absence so much, then I'll leave! You can rot in your own filth!" He thundered, pointing a damning finger at his reprehensible creator before storming out of the construction.

×××××××××

Victor had watched him leave the igloo and hadn't given a damn about it; the man didn't need him, he hadn't even _wanted_ him there in the first place.

That was a week ago.

Now the sheer lack of contact felt like it could kill him on its own - as if he wasn't already wasting away. He was nowhere _close_ to being unfamiliar with the concept of death, it had already ravaged his personal history enough; but this was different. His own death hadn't been something he'd ever really considered in more than a passing thought. He knew everything would continue after he died; he had done the same with everyone else. Even Henry. Even Elizabeth. Would he be remembered for his dreams of bettering the world? For the loss of everyone dear to him? For his mortifying creation?

Would he even be remembered at all?  
Terror plagued him at the concept. After all he'd gone through, all his sacrifices, all his studying, would he really be forgotten by history? Go down as a fool who had no business dabbling in what he did?  
His mind was racing, racing with questions he didn't know the answers to.  
Would his body be found? Would Adam return to finish him off before starvation could? What had he done to deserve to die in such a way as starvation?

Of course: he _didn't_ deserve to die like that. He deserved better, a death of his own choosing.  
His scalpel. He could still slit his wrists.  
Victor figured he should do it while he still had the strength to, pushing himself upright before lifting the black and silver scalpel from the pocket of his vest.  
It has been his first one; the only surviving piece of a surgeon's kit that had once been a family heirloom, but as it got passed down, pieces of it were stolen and pawned off.  
Rolling up his sleeves to his elbows, the man prepared to slice the skin of his left wrist, then drew back the blade.

×××××××××

Adam had taken the frustration he felt after leaving and put it to use in hunting for a few days, returning to the hut with the remaining meat after he'd calmed down some. What was keeping him from leaving Victor to die? Obligation? Guilt? Whatever it was, he had it to thank for a lingering need to care for his creator.  
The scent of blood wasn't something he was expecting upon entrance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the wait on this chapter! I started on a full length Christmas special for another fandom, and the time restraint on that kind of drained me of inspiration for my other fics^^;;

Victor still hadn't roused yet. Adam knew he was still breathing - still among the _truly_ living - but did not yet wake. He had panicked at the sight of the blood; discovered it was warm. Had he been serious in saying death was better than the fate he suspected Adam of planning for him? Why was he so convinced of a malicious intent?  
Why did the idea of the man's revulsion hurt so much?  
Thankfully enough, his creator stirred.  
"Victor! How do you feel, does anything hurt?"  
The man stared at him blankly as he spoke, blinking once, twice. Something akin to fear began to plague the being.  
"Victor?"  
"... Why?"  
"Pardon?"  
"Why do you keep doing this, Adam?! Why do you keep saving me? What do you need to keep me alive for?!"  
"Because I care about you, Victor!"  
"Hah! As if something like you even _could_ care!"

Adam was taken aback by the statement, he was already well aware of his creator's sentiments towards him, but to hear it said so firmly still came as a shock. Victor truly thought that he was hellspawn, that he knew no emotion other than bloodlust. No wonder the man suspected him of a plot.  
"... Victor, can… can I see your wrist?"  
"Do you plan to _break_ it?"  
"No! No, that's not it. I wouldn't have made a request if that was my intent."  
"... Good to know. You still can't see it though."  
Always eager to be difficult. "I need to check your wrappings."  
"You're a fool if you think I'm letting you near me again."  
"Yes Victor, truly it's unwise to allow the one who's been caring for you get close."  
"Well then 'caretaker', just where were you the past week?"  
"I was hunting. I only spent a day fuming, unlike you I assume." His creator's glare momentarily faltered, and Adam offered him a thick slab of dried meat. Victor quietly took it. "What can I do to support your trust?"  
"Nothing. I'll never trust you."  
"Why?"

A sharp glare from Victor. "You know exactly why."  
"Tell me the reason."  
"You ruined my life!"  
"You abandoned me!"  
"You _ruined_ my _life_! Killed the ones I loved! Even a child for Christ's sake!"  
He was tired of this. "Show me your wrist, Victor."  
"No!"  
The being rose to his full height and approached him. "Victor. Show it to me."  
"You're a fool if you think I'll let you touch me!"  
Why did he insist on making everything difficult? Reaching for his creator only resulted in him scrambling up on his feet and away from the other with more haste than Adam had seen from him prior.  
"Victor, for God's sake just show me your wrist!"  
"Stay away from me!"

Adam snapped his arm out and managed to snag the other's bandaged wrist, louring when Victor writhed and thrashed about in an attempt to pry his arm away; his creator only stopping after emitting a sharp cry of pain.  
"I'm surprised you haven't noticed that your aggressive opposition has only served to make things worse for yourself thus far." The being gently turned Victor's wrist over in his hand. "Does it hurt to move?"  
"Go to hell."  
"I'll oblige you on that at another date. Answer the question."  
He watched the bony wrist in his hand wiggle some, his gaze snapping back over to his creator when he heard him wince.  
"It's likely you sprained it." An aggravated sigh. "Damn fool."  
"Fuck you."  
"If you continue like this, I'll have to reconsider helping you, you know."  
"Why do I care?"  
"Apologies, I forgot you don't have any self preservation skills. Let me put it this way: if you continue to needlessly provoke me, you will die. Painfully. You _will_ suffer. Have I made myself clear?" Victor immediately tensed, then nodded passively. He hated that this was how he had to get through to his creator, but it seemed to be the only way. Why did it require a death threat for him to listen? Adam gently unwrapped the cloth from around Victor's wrist, frowning some when the man clearly grimaced after it was shifted slightly. Maybe he _had_ been a bit rough with Victor. “You _are_ aware that you did this to yourself, correct?”  
“Shut up Adam.”  
“I’m just being forthright about it now so that you know where to direct your hostility later.”  
“What the hell makes you think you have to do that?”  
“Perhaps your chronic tendency to blame me for all of your suffering?”  
“You say that as if it _isn’t_ your fault.”  
“Case in point.”  
His creator fell silent, and Adam returned his attention to the man’s wrist. The bleeding had slowed since Adam had first returned, although he wasn’t sure just how long Victor had been bleeding out by then; the man had already fallen unconscious by the time he had entered.

×××××××××

Of course Adam would tend to his injuries. Keeping the man alive seemed to be absolutely vital to whatever the hell his plan was. At least, keeping him alive for now. He insisted on his lack of intent, but he couldn’t be trusted to tell the truth.  
That of course was why Victor aggressively tried to prevent Adam from accessing his injured wrist, going so far as to hide it behind his back when cornered more than once. Prior to that he had favored running from his creation, taking full advantage of his small stature to allow him to slip past and under Adam’s reaching arms. However as of late it had began to take more and more effort to move his body, a mixture of pain and exhaustion frequently being the cause of his eventual surrender.  
That morning it had been a thoroughly draining toil just to push himself into a sitting position. Standing had been out of the question for days, let alone running.

×××××××××

That morning Victor visibly tensed on his approach, but didn't move otherwise. Adam gave a small smile.  
"What, don't have the urge to make me chase you this time?"  
The man scowled deeply, and kept his head down.  
"This isn't by choice."  
"How so?"  
"... I haven't had the strength to move my legs in days. It feels as if it's gotten a thousand times more difficult."  
His smile fell and he hastily searched Victor's gaze. Nothing in his eyes suggested that he was lying, in fact the words seemed to leave a foul taste in his creator’s mouth, as if admitting them was a struggle. Examining the man, he was considerably paler than Adam had memory of him ever being before; he was notedly gaunt, as well. Was Victor ill?  
Perhaps the meat had been tainted. Yes, that was all it was; the meat had been ill-tempered, and the man’s weak immune system quickly succumb to sickness. He would be as lively as before in a week’s time, and they would - albeit regrettably - return to their bickering. Mayhaps Victor would even deny that he had ever been ill at all.  
“You should rest then Victor - maybe this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so careless about how you exerted your energy before.”  
“Or maybe you’ve been poisoning me.”  
“Would you care to enlighten me on how I might have poisoned you? Perhaps the name of the poison? You hardly eat, Victor. It’s actually quite concerning.”  
“Why the hell do you think I haven’t been eating?”  
Adam was silent as realization dawned on him. It hurt. “You truly believe I may have poisoned you?”  
“I wouldn’t put it past a monster like you.”

A monster. It was all Victor ever called him. Maybe that was all he was.  
"Would you prefer it if I ate some of the same one before you? As proof that it's not poisoned?"  
"I never got to analyze how toxins reacted in your body. You could be immune to them for all I know."  
"Victor…"  
"I can't trust you. And you know exactly why I can't."  
Distrust was rooted in the man’s body, even in his eyes. Those deep green eyes, nearly black even in broad daylight. Those were the eyes that glared intensely and unyielding at him despite the frail state of his body, something Adam assumed was somewhat unique to his creator.  
More than anything though, Victor seemed tired. Whether he was tired of Adam, or tired of living however, was something only Victor himself knew.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions, many of which bring pain.

Victor wasn't improving. After almost two weeks he was eating normally at least, but he wasn't improving at all. In fact, he was getting steadily worse. Very slowly, but steadily. A few days after he had laid bare the reason for his abrupt lack of resistance, the man had begun to fall in and out of a fever that still hadn't broken. Even his sleep seemed to deny him peace; as more often than not his creator's rest was troubled, and his nightmares dragged into the waking world as well. 

Such was the situation Adam found himself in once more as he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Victor's panicked shouts. Briefly gazing into the eyes that stared a hundred miles beyond him, Adam set about soothing the other.   
"Victor, can you hear me?"   
"Stop it! Get away from me!" The same dream. The same fear in his eyes. The same cries of desperation and panic directed at the same name. "Lucas, please…!"  
"Breathe Victor." He knew he would despise him for it once he regained his senses, but this was more important. Adam grabbed the other man and pulled him close. "Think about where you are - Lucas isn't here. Lucas is just a name belonging to someone far, far away from you now."  
His grip tightened around the man, and eventually Victor's breathing stabilized. He'd appeared to have settled down until he apparently realized where he was.   
"... Let me go, Adam."  
The creature immediately released him and stepped back, and the two sat in tense silence for a few minutes. 

"You seem to be having the same dream lately. With that in mind... may I ask who Lucas is?"   
Victor visibly flinched at the name, and lowered his gaze. "No. He doesn't matter."  
"It certainly seems like he does, given how shaken you get over dreams involving him."  
"How the hell would you know if I'm dreaming about him?"   
"You scream his name, plead for him to stop."  
Victor's expression flickered briefly into contempt before becoming unreadable, almost blank. "He was a colleague at Ingolstadt. One that… felt he deserved whatever he wanted, even if what he wanted was other people."  
"I don't believe I-"   
"He raped me. Do you know what that word means? Do you even understand the concept of sex? I doubt you do. I wouldn't expect anything more of a beast, after all." He spat, staring blankly ahead before drawing the furs around him closer. "At least a beast can't say no."  
So much fear and loathing over being robbed? It must have been something truly precious that was taken.   
"... I'm sorry."  
"Stop talking about it. Even thinking about it makes me feel sick."  
"Then we'll stop. Are you cold?"   
"No."

The curt response left a tense silence between them, one finally broken - surprisingly - by Victor.   
"Your body - has it rot at all?"  
"Excuse me?"   
"I haven't had the chance to see the long-term effects of reanimation, and I doubt I'll be able to do so later. So, has your body rot at all since your creation?"   
"I don't believe so, no."  
"May I check?"   
"_Excuse me?_"   
"You heard me."  
"You can scarcely sit upright on your own, yet your main concern is examining my body for signs of decomposition?"   
"I'm going to die anyway, so why not?"   
"You're not going to die."  
"Bullshit."  
"You're just ill, Victor."  
"_Bull. Shit._ I know my body's giving out on me. Hell, when I'm sleeping I can even feel it collapsing in my dreams!" Victor had become animated now, holding himself upright with two quivering arms. "You were so set on wanting me dead before, and now when I've acknowledged death you act as if I'm immortal! How ironic!" He exclaimed, his arms buckling under the weight before Adam lunged forward to catch the man in his arms before he could fall against the ice. His creator pushed out a weak laugh before he shivered, letting his eyes shut as his chest heaved. "How sickeningly ironic…"  
Within moments, Victor had slipped under again.

×××××××××××××××××××

_Lucas, for once, wasn't the focus of his dreams. Instead, he saw Henry, Elizabeth, his family, all of them beckoning just out of his reach. So he began to run to them, each movement only taking them further from him as his body decayed beneath him. An arm outstretched rotted completely and the bones crumbled to dust right in front of his eyes. And in spite of it all, all those he cared about were still smiling sweetly, only now they no longer paid him any mind._

He awoke with a hard gasp, one arm reaching for the ceiling as he lay on his back. He examined it briefly, and ultimately returned it to his side once satisfied.  
"Adam?" He softly called, starting to push himself upright until he felt his arms shaking dangerously underneath him. No response. Victor carefully lowered himself back to the ground. Wretched as that monster might be, the man would much rather have him there than to be alone, at least in his current state.   
Disgustingly ironic, indeed.   
More than being unable to move his legs, Victor had lost all feeling from the waist down some time ago - he couldn't be sure on the date; according to Adam there had been times where he was unconscious for days, severely altering his sense of time - but of course he hadn't told the other this; why give Adam more to use against him? Before he could applaud himself for such clever thinking however, quenching his thirst would be the best course of action. Did they even _have_ any water? They did the last time he'd briefly stirred from his fever dreams. When was that? Why was he alone now? How long had it been since he had been with Robert Walton? Where were they anymore?   
How much longer did he even have? 

His thoughts kept swimming and twisting around each other as his head spun, and the man blearily searched for an answer in the snow packed around him. His questions raged on.   
Surely he would be damned to hell once he died? Was he never to see his family again? His soulmates?   
His eyes became misty at the thought.   
Their deaths had been hell on earth for him as is, and the possibility of being separated from them for eternity shattered him.   
Victor's pained tears turned to anger just as quickly as they'd begun. All of it had been because of his horrid creation. All of it. 

All of it.

×××××××××××××

Victor was awake again when Adam returned with dried meat once again, and the creature had been about to greet him before he was cut off.  
"So why have you kept me alive this long? What's the purpose?"  
"I've told you, it's because I care for you. I have since Walton found you. You… might even call it love."  
The man scoffed, disgust clear on his face. Adam grew tense, and awaited the man's anger.  
"'Love'? You have the gall to say you _love me?_" Victor began, his quiet voice heavy with emotion. "Something like you could never love. Imagine that: a fiend, vile as you are, claiming to love! It's disgusting!" His bitter hatred of his own creation shone through his eyes just as much as his words, and Adam received all of it without a single complaint. He deserved it, didn't he? "And then you even admit to it, as if you expected me to feel the same! You did, didn't you?" Adam shakily nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "How could I?!" Victor demanded, frail - _ever so frail_ \- body quivering with his emotion. "How could I ever care for you, Adam?! You took everything from me! I wouldn't be here slowly dying if not for you! I could've been happy! My family would still be alive! If not for you, if not for you…!"

His face was pale, the slight quivering of mere moments prior had now become violent, body-wide tremors, and he gasped for each breath. He was suffering because of him, and Adam knew it.   
It had always been because of him.   
"Victor, stop. Stop it, please…" He begged of him as that sickly creature continued to shake and wheeze. Pain seemed to be all he could bring him.   
He held an infinite love for this man and yet all he could do was pain him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go folks!!! Next chapter is the last one!!!!! Yall ready for more pain!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

They had left Walton's ship three months ago. Victor was no longer moving, nor speaking. It seemed his illness had sapped him of whatever he'd had left before he recovered from it. It left Adam time for contemplation, which often meant he was turning over Victor's words in his mind, over and over.  
_A monster._  
Was that all he was? A monster? It must be; he'd done horrible things, regardless of if he was remorseful for them.  
_Revolting._  
Victor was right. No one would ever love him. Adam no longer blamed them for it, either. He _was_ revolting, after all.  
He was irredeemable, damned, grotesque. Victor had shown him this, and so he continued to watch over him.

××××××××××××

He heard Adam moving before he saw him, but Victor's gaze focused on him as soon as he came into view.  
"I'll return soon Victor, I'm going to retrieve more water." He felt Adam's hand brush through his hair. "I _will_ return. I swear it."  
And he was gone. Was the promise for his sake? Why? Why did he feel the need to promise? Why did he do anything anymore?

Had either of their lives really even mattered?

It became a struggle to remain conscious, and soon Victor slept once more.

××××××××××××

The entrance of the igloo had been crushed, and that same copper scent permeated his senses once more.  
No.  
A polar bear with a muzzle stained red.  
_No._  
Victor's frail body lying perfectly still in a pool of blood.  
**NO.**  
The inhuman screech that left Adam as he forcibly shoved past the beast echoed across the barren ice as he cradled the man in his arms to hastily look him over.  
Shallow breaths. He was breathing. His eyes wouldn't focus but he was breathing.  
Relief flooded Adam's system but froze up within moments. Deep gashes along Victor's throat freely poured blood, hot against the man's chilled body. His jugular had been torn.

××××××××××××

"Victor, please… Please, just say something!"  
Didn't Adam know he was trying? That he was doing all he could just to breathe? Each weak breath brought nothing but pain as he surveyed the face of his creation.  
He truly was a beautiful being. Why hadn't he seen it before? The man weeping before him was stunningly perfect, and he'd done nothing but call him a monster. _God, what had he done?_ He could hear his choked pleas, was vaguely aware that Adam had taken his hand, but he couldn't see him anymore, couldn't feel anything except a dull chill through his body.  
So instead he spent those moments burning the sound of Adam's voice into his memory, searching for a way to say what he needed to. _I love you. You're beautiful. I'm sorry._

"You can't leave me alone, not yet… Not yet, please…! I need you…"

His voice was fading, the world was fading, Victor was fading. 

"You can hurt me however you want…!" 

Fading. 

"Please just stay a little longer …"

Gone.

××××××××××××

_18th of March, 1798_

_Though not what we were searching for, today our team discovered two bodies on the ice. One of which, despite having perished seated and hunched over, was just as tall as I standing upright. His enormous figure was completely frozen over, and his features seemed as if they were surely beautiful in better days. Upon closer inspection, we discovered he cradled in his arms the body of a much smaller man, who bore wounds that seemed to be from an attack by a beast. We have no way of knowing when or how the larger creature perished, but the man likely died from his injuries. The larger one's long dead gaze seemed perpetually fixated on the one in his arms, and so I have taken it upon myself to dub them The Lovers in secret. We said a prayer for them, and moved on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it!! Sorry the last chapter is so much shorter, but it seemed perfect as it was! Thank you all so much for going on this journey with me!!


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